Online dating is like playing roulette…..
You only slightly understand the game (I say slightly understand because I may or may not have been taught by an 80 year old man in Vegas at 3 o’clock in the morning…another story, another time) but… anyway, you know you have to pick a number, pick a color and throw some chips on the table before the ball settles or the dealer tells you all bets are final.
So you make a choice and watch the ball.
You get anxious. You’re probably saying “Come on __ (insert number/color/space here)”. And hopefully you’re doing it in your head, cause out loud would just be embarrassing You might be ringing your hands. Stroking a lucky talisman or praying to the God of your choice.
You know it’s a long shot that it’s going to work out, but you’re hopeful. Maybe your choice will come up. Maybe you will be a winner.
And then the ball lands…
Did you win?
Most often than not, you didn’t.
Online dating is like this. You get “matches”. You can email them, “wink” at them… you can scroll through and pick and choose who you’re interested in.
If you’re like me, you’re probably sitting back and letting dudes know you’re interested but not going out of your way to email anyone first (call this a scar from my marriage if you will but this is how I’m operating right now). I respond to some of the winks, some of the emails and throw my bet out on the table. Maybe this could be a winner? Who knows?
I make choices about who I want to spend some time getting to know and go from there. The wheel of time spins.
Sometimes I put more effort in then others. I make some prayers, pull out my lucky outfit…. and wait to see where the ball is going to drop.
Sometimes the ball settles close to my number… a promising email or 2 and then silence (on one of our ends), a meet up date- no chemistry-over. And sometimes, I’m watching the wheel get so close to my number, starting to feel excited and hopeful about a situation only to watch as the ball tips into the other slot. And then bam, it’s over.
And you don’t always understand it…it’s just this giant game of chance after all…. but you continue to throw out your bets and hope for a winner.