Because it’s not all free dinners and movies

Dating is hard.

I’m saying this like you DON’T know it, but clearly if you’re here, you KNOW it’s hard.

Dating. The opposite sex.  WTF. Seriously?!?

Don’t think I haven’t contemplated just giving up men in general and becoming a lesbian (I already have a female friend picked out that I would marry in a heartbeat (HI Sweetie!!)  as long as  I could still have sex with men on the side!)..if only it was a choice and could be that simple!

Also, as my lesbian and gay friends have pointed out.. “Dating is just as ridiculous for us! You only think it’s easier cause it’s all the same hormones and you think we understand each other better… we don’t!”.

Fair enough.

So why many of my married and matched up  friends comment wistfully on my FourSquare checkins (one of my safety measures on dating!) and Facebook updates….

I’m silently cursing the fact that I have to do my hair and makeup on a Wednesday night (again!), dreading the “What do you do? Why are you single?” questions and trying to mentally go through the menu so I can make graceful and quick exits if need be.

I run into scheduling conflicts and time crunches.  Fitting dates in with the life I’ve created for myself is hard sometimes. 

I’m worrying about working out to not only fulfill my own health and fitness goals but because I know I’m going to have to be seen naked for the first time by a new man (assuming we get to that point).  Also.. eating out a lot means I have less control over the food I’m eating so I need the calories being burned. 

I’m trying to keep dudes straight.  Was this the military guy with 3 sisters or is this the guy who loves the Chicago Bears and plays poker with his buddies on Tuesdays? Did I already ask him these questions?

I’m worried that he won’t be attracted to me.  I’m worried I won’t be attracted to him. 

I’m thinking about butterflies and sex and could this possibly it? 

And I do this EVERY time I go on a date. 

How about you? What are you thinking/worrying about in the dating world?  What makes it hard for you?




One thought on “Because it’s not all free dinners and movies

  1. I used to have the same thoughts as you do before a date and when on it. I found my main issue was that I had expectations for the date. I was always hoping that the guy would be great and this would be the last first date I was on. A lot of the time, I would end up being disappointed.

    When I stopped having expectations, all that other stuff went out the window as well. I just made sure I showed up looking nice and was myself. I put myself out there. And at the end of the day, that’s all you can do:)

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