Dudes, you should know…. when you go out with us, we’re telling our friends… EVERYTHING.
And together we sit and dissect every moment/phrase/look and event of a date. We over analyze and read into situations. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve gone into the bathroom at a bar or restaurant on a Saturday night and overhead girls doing the, “Can you believe he said.. what do you think that meant???’ , “And then he grabbed my thigh under the table.. does this mean…?”, “Do you think he likes me?”….
And yes, I’ve done it too. We all have. And if you’re not with your friend at the time, you call them up and recount the situation.. which in my case means that I’ve missed some things so I end up with a lot of.. “and ya knows” or “and stuffs”….
And your friends always weigh in…
“He’s mentioned Lisa six times in that conversation? He’s fucking her. Or he wants to anyway.”
“I mean, he needs to do the work here. If he doesn’t call you and plan out the first 3 dates… you don’t have time for him. You shouldn’t have to put in any effort here.”
“He’s not calling because he doesn’t want to call. If he did, he’d make the time.”
“Do not have sex with him on the first date.. and if he’s talking about sex, he’s clearly only interested in that and not anything else.”
* at one point or another each of these sentences has been said to me, by well-meaning friends in response to my need to process situations out loud.
** purposely picked cause they probably sound like something you have heard from your friends as well.
So together we agonize. We rationalize, hypothesize and any other mental function that ends in -ize that we possibly can do UNTIL you, our simple male counterparts, come in with your take:
“My cousin has been having a really hard time lately so I’m trying to help her out as much as I can.” (Lisa)
If you’re interested in someone.. show it. I’m just flat-out refuting that last one as I followed that advice and missed out on someone because he thought that by my lack of effort, I really wasn’t that into him.
Text message the next day, “Sorry I didn’t call last night. My phone died.” (true or not, a reasonable explanation that NO ONE even brought up!)
“I have a really dirty sense of humor.. I’m not trying to be offensive at all.” (et tu, Brute)
And what have we really done? We’ve freaked each other out.
We’re blowing simple things WAY out of proportion. Reading between the lines, over the lines, under and all around the lines… and we create so much drama for ourselves that it forces us into situations where we have to say something to the men folk or they think we’re bat-shit crazy–and then we prove that is the case by opening our mouths and sharing some of these trumped-up scenarios.
It makes me wonder if the problem is really the opposite sex (or your significant others/people you want to have sex with) OR if it’s our friends? Maybe by talking things out SO much we’re really sabotaging each other and our relationships?
Maybe sometimes we just need to shut the hell up and let nature take its course.
What do you think? Do we sabotage each other?