Sex without love? Without a relationship? What about committment? SEX IS SUCH A HUGE DEAL!!
Anyone out there agreeing with me? Anyone else think I sound like a 14-year-old girl?
Bear with me ya’ll, I am a Catholic school girl.
Well, I hate to break it to you friends, but it was more like this…
Yeah, ok.. that’s still doing it for you… isn’t it? What is it about the Catholic school girl that guys love so much? I know just as many freaky public school girls! Maybe that should be saved for another post? Yikes… sorry for that tangent!!
Anyway, the Catholic upbringing brings me to my point. I was brought up to believe that sex was this special intimate thing done between a husband and wife. This isn’t to say that we weren’t 13 year olds discussing hand jobs and playing 7 minutes in heaven at parties….but sex seemed like a huge deal to me as a young woman and not something to be taken lightly. So I was waiting for that special moment, not marriage, but after a year of dating a boyfriend exclusively for that to happen. In a beautiful hotel bed in Paris with champagne and chocolates.
And then you have sex for the first time (not in Paris,not in a bed and probably with Natty Ice) and many of us think, “Is that what I was waiting for? That was the big, so special moment?” and you start to realize that sex, like everything else if life… really is what you make of it and what you want it to be.
It’s a human desire that needs to be fulfilled. And as humans, we can get it in many different forms.
It can be an intense outpouring of love and committment. It can also be raw, sweaty and pure lust.
Sometimes you have sex with someone and the little webs of intimacy and emotions weave tighter and tighter together. Then sometimes you can have sex with someone, get up, put your clothes on, high 5 and walk out the door… and these are the times that a fuck buddy is born.
I didn’t think I’d ever be the type of girl who could handle a fuck buddy. I get attached. Quickly. Easily. So much emotions….so much relationship building. I care too much.
But damn… I sorta fell into it… and honestly, it’s exactly what post-divorce me needed. No strings. No commitment and I could figure out who I was sexually with someone else. I have no strings attached. I don’t have to hang out with him. I don’t even have to respond to his calls/texts if I don’t want to and it’s cool.
And I’ll be damned if it hasn’t been a much-needed ego boost for me. Remember, my shitty marriage? No,cause I don’t talk about it? It’s cool.. I do.. and I have had more sex (more good sex) since this divorce than I did in our 7 years together.
As for my inner Catholic school girl?
She just high-fived me.