How soon is soon enough?

In this dance of dating… how do you decide when to have sex with a new partner?

Do you have a set number of dates?

Wait for a feeling?

Wait a certain length of time?

 

I’m just curious how the rest of you are doing this?  Clearly I need help figuring this part out.

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the aftermath…

Sorry for the freak out the other day. This has been an interesting weekend for me.  Along with the news that ex is in love with a leprechaun  came a very serious stomach virus/infection that has rocked my world, sent me to the hospital and left me hibernating in my house for the past few days.

With lots of down time and lots of time to process in between bouts of feeling like I was going to die, I’m left feeling some peace and a bit of advice for all of us.

Own your life. 

Own who you are, who you love and your mistakes. 

Make amends to the people you hurt. 

Be honest with those that you love.

But above all other things, OWN your choices.  

That is ultimately what I take away from this journey.

Girl Talk– Do We Sabotage Each Other?

Dudes, you should know…. when you go out with us, we’re telling our friends… EVERYTHING.

And together we sit and dissect every moment/phrase/look and event of a date.  We over analyze and read into situations.  I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve gone into the bathroom at a bar or restaurant on a Saturday night and overhead girls doing the, “Can you believe he said.. what do you think that meant???’ , “And then he grabbed my thigh under the table.. does this mean…?”, “Do you think he likes me?”….

And yes, I’ve done it too.  We all have.  And if you’re not with your friend at the time, you call them up and recount the situation.. which in my case means that I’ve missed some things so I end up with a  lot of.. “and ya knows” or “and stuffs”….

And your friends always weigh in…

 “He’s mentioned Lisa six times in that conversation? He’s fucking her.  Or he wants to anyway.”

“I mean, he needs to do the work here.  If he doesn’t call you and plan out the first 3 dates… you don’t have time for him.  You shouldn’t have to put in any effort here.”

“He’s not calling because he doesn’t want to call.  If he did, he’d make the time.”

“Do not have sex with him on the first date.. and if he’s talking about sex, he’s clearly only interested in that and not anything else.”

* at one point or another each of these sentences has been said to me, by well-meaning friends in response to my need to process situations out loud.

** purposely picked cause they probably sound like something you have heard from your friends as well.

So together we agonize.  We rationalize, hypothesize and any other mental function that ends in -ize that we possibly can do UNTIL you, our simple male counterparts, come in with your take:

“My cousin has been having a really hard time lately so I’m trying to help her out as much as I can.”  (Lisa)

If you’re interested in someone.. show it.  I’m just flat-out refuting that last one as I followed that advice and missed out on someone because he thought that by my lack of effort, I really wasn’t that into him.

Text message the next day, “Sorry I didn’t call last night.  My phone died.” (true or not, a reasonable explanation that NO ONE even brought up!)

“I have a really dirty sense of humor.. I’m not trying to be offensive at all.” (et tu, Brute)

And what have we really done?  We’ve freaked each other out.

We’re blowing simple things WAY out of proportion.  Reading between the lines, over the lines, under and all around the lines… and we create so much drama for ourselves that it forces us into situations where we have to say something to the men folk or they think we’re bat-shit crazy–and then we prove that is the case by opening our mouths and sharing some of these trumped-up scenarios.

It makes me wonder if the problem is really the opposite sex (or your significant others/people you want to have sex with) OR if it’s our friends?  Maybe by talking things out SO much we’re really sabotaging each other and our relationships?

Maybe sometimes we just need to shut the hell up and let nature take its course.

What do you think? Do we sabotage each other?

 

 

 

 

And who wants to be Kim Kardashian?!?!?!

 

“Every girl is expected to have caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama and doll tits.

The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes. Everyone else is struggling.”- Tina Fey

 

In retrospect, I’m pretty damn hot.  Thanks Tina, I can always count on you.

 

Breaking Guy Code

Ladies, I’m about to give you some knowledge that has recently been imparted on my by one of my most favorite men in the entire world.

Never forget the power of Pussy….men everywhere bow to it.  In selling out men everywhere, you have what we want. Ultimately you are in control. Own it.

I think some women get this… others, like me, we don’t.  But tonight, I took that advice and owned it.  And I’m determined to own every single date from here on out. 🙂